It’s been awhile since I’ve posted any hate mail, and while working on the Fart Party collection, I re-found a bunch of old ones that are GLORIOUS. A few you’ve seen before, but I’m adding more to the mail section of the book, here are a few samples.
BUT FIRST! I am having a huge art sale of original pages and illustrations. There are full pages and small pieces (read: cheaper) and I could really use the money right now, so if you’ve ever wanted some original art from me, now is the most helpful time to get it. I also have a bunch of other handmade stuff in the store, so look around a bit if you want. And if you don’t want to go through Etsy, feel free to contact me at juliajwertz@gmail.com to work something else out.
And now, on with some letters! (most of these are pretty old, from 2005-2010)
Dear Fart Party,
Your comics are average, as comics go. Average writing, slightly below average art, FAR below average maturity, average punchlines. I don’t think drugs, immature toilet humor and boring, cookie-cutter characters interest me, but I’m sure a lot of other people will find it to be right up their alley. It’s a winning formula, but I’ve never figured out why. Oh well, send me a postcard when you’re famous!
Sincerely, Bob
———-
Jules,
Your comics are witty and insightful, but they make me cringe. I don’t understand why you have to say “fuck” so much, it’s very crass. I like about half of them, but I think you’re too smart for this smut.
Love, Ma.
Dearest Ma,
You raised me right and you raised me well. I went to college, I got a degree, I didn’t get pregnant and I didn’t go to jail….so fuck off already! Goddamn, you can be such a fucking cunt sometimes.
All my love,
Julia
————
Hi Julia,
Having read your books, what is my conclusion? You are an intelligent woman, however, I would not want my dad nor any of my friends to read 80% of what you have written. I am deeply offended by you calling and then printing “you’re such a cunt,” in reference to your mother. Good god, Julia, you printed that on a book cover! Who are you attempting to reach [with your work]? Certainly not the bulk of people who buy books. Not many people have interest in another’s anger, mistakes, drinking, drug use and poor relationships. Only you know who you are trying to reach…no one else does.
-Dad
Dear Dad,
U mad, bro?
-Julia
——-
A fairly well known cartoonist posted the following comment on The Comics Journal:
“The Fart Party is terrible in every sense.”
I sent him a polite email asking what he thought was so terrible, as I was genuinely curious. Unprovoked, he responded with this:
The art is flat, uncommunicative and dull. The placement of the characters in the frame is slapdash. The facial structures look like fourth grade Simpsons tracings. The “true life” jokes are derivative, poorly told and of little consequence. Your comics should have stayed on the back of your Lisa Frank binder…you should go back to whatever insular, back-pat, circle-jerk fest you live in and stagnate.
-Name Withheld.
Dear Fuckhead,
While I concur with your assessment of art and subject matter, I do not see the need for the latter half of your email, as it’s unnecessarily cruel. Also I’ve never owned a Lisa Frank binder, I was a Trapper-Keeper kid all the way. Since we’re resorting to grade school references and insults, I have only one thing to say to you: I am rubber, and you are glue, whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you. Also, you’re a fucking asshole.
Love, Julia